


Blood On My Boots

by Moonlit_Artemis



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Child Death, Child death was accidental if that makes it any better, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Minor Character Death, Murder, This is some messed up shit, almost happy i suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 15:35:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlit_Artemis/pseuds/Moonlit_Artemis
Summary: There's blood on my boots, blood on my boots, blood on my bootsThere's blood on my boots, blood on my boots, blood on my bootsSo I'm home to my rootsThere's blood on my bootsOh, I'm home to my rootsThere's blood on my boots.You don't even think as you pull the trigger. The girl is riding your husband and neither notice you in the room. It was like your body decided on its own that she needed to die.





	Blood On My Boots

You caught your husband fucking another girl. In your very own bedroom.

It hurt more than you were willing to admit. His moans and her cries, the sounds of flesh slapping on flesh all echoed in your head. You'd put a stop to this.

Anger took away all reason you could've had. You pulled a blaster and aimed at the girl riding your husband's cock.

You had no idea when you pulled the trigger. The shot snapped all three of you of your reverie.

Hux looked at you in surprise, the girl stared at you in terror as blast cut through the air. She had no time to scream - the shot killed her instantly, the power shoved her off the bed.

And you? You felt nothing. Just cold.

Armitage said nothing and neither did you. You stared each other in the eye for a very long time.

"Clean up the mess," you demanded. There was cum, blood and a dead body. You hoped he had enough decency to clean it up by himself.

Armitage knew better than to irritate you. For once in his life, he did as he was asked. Meanwhile, you drank his whiskey. Alcohol burned away the coldness in your chest.

Two hours passed until the situation was taken care of. Hux cleaned the bedroom and disposed of the body. He himself was covered in her blood...

And the marks she left on his body.

You looked at him with disgust and fury, taking in the scratches and love marks. She dared to make a claim on what was yours and he allowed her to.

Perhaps, he even wanted you to see them later that night.

The fact that you loved him and you were blindly faithful to him made it worse.

"How long?" you asked.

"Two months." Armitage answered quietly.

You glared at him, feeling hot tears burning down your cheeks.

"She was pregnant," he added. Before Hux could react, you stood up and punched him hard enough to make him bleed.

"You vile, disgusting SON OF A WHORE!" you screamed in anger. You punched and slapped him until you were exhausted. "I loved you!"

He gasped in surprise. Did he think you didn't love him?

"I loved you," you sobbed. "I tried so hard to give you a child! And you turned to that FUCKING CUNT to give you what I couldn't?"

Armitage didn't answer. You had no idea if his silence irked you more than his truth would.

He opened his mouth to say something, but you ran away in case he wanted to defend that bitch or himself.

* * *

 

You moved out of your quarters and lived on the opposite side of the ship. It was a tiny room, almost like a prison cell for solitary containment.

It felt good to be there.

You haven't spoken to Hux even once since that night. He gave you orders in suspiciously soft voice and you fulfilled them without a single word.

People wondered what happened to that girl. They also wondered what happened to you since you appeared to be mute these days. Were you sick? Did you lose your tongue or vocal chords? The theories were many but you confirmed none.

You felt no remorse for killing that girl. You were so indifferent about your crime that it scared you.

In fact, you felt nothing at all. Your heart was dead.

* * *

You had no idea how you ended up in Kylo Ren's bed.

He was fucking you as he laughed loudly at your inner pain. He mocked how such a pathetic cunt as yours couldn't keep any man.

You cried as he fucked you, but you didn't leave.

Once he was done with you, he ordered you to dress up and leave. You went out of his quarters with cum dripping down your tighs.

Right by the door was your husband. Soon-to-be ex-husband.

Armitage looked at you in shock - from the sperm on your body to lifeless look on your face. You looked like a ghost - pale, wide-eyed and grief-stricken.

"She was a good fuck," Kylo smirked, leaning against doorframe. "Such a precious, broken doll... I wondered if I should kill her once I'm done with her. Show her mercy. The poor fool loved you, you know? What a joke... We both know you felt nothing for her, unlike your pretty mistress. That one sparked fire in you, didn't she? What a shame this one ruined it for you and you won't elope with your mistress and be the baby daddy like you always wanted."

You knew his words were directed more at you than at Hux. You cried your eyes away, stuck between Armitage and Ren.

"Shut the fuck up, you imbecile!" you heard Hux scream. For some reason, Armitage wrapped his arms around you and lead you through the quiet corridors.

Kylo's laughter echoed in your head as you walked.

* * *

 

You sat dumbly in bathtub filled with warm water as your soon-to-be ex-husband washed your hair.

You no longer cared if he tends to you or takes his vengeance and kills you for murdering his mistress.

"Y/n?" he whispered. "Look at me."

You did. Your eyes were void of any emotion and full of tears. Something broke in Hux and he sighed a small 'oh'. His own eyes looked at you with sadness. Or was it pity? You didn't care.

He carried you to the bed. The bed was new, you noticed. Perhaps, he associated the previous one with his mistress?

Armitage laid down with you in his arms. It was the first time he held you so gently.

"Come back to me, please," you heard him whisper. "Please, please, come back..."

"Why? You don't want me. You don't love me. You never have, did you?" you mumbled back. "If I don't have feelings anymore, you won't hurt me again."

"I loved you. I messed up, I know I have. I knew you struggled with fertility. I thought someone else could give us one."

"You wanted her, didn't you? You wanted her more than me."

"I admit I... got caught up in that affair. I wanted the child so badly..."

"You would've left me, wouldn't you?" you asked, feeling tears flowing down your face again.

"Yes," he confessed and you sobbed harder. "But I'd have came back. After you left I understood I couldn't live without you. I saw you wasting away and it broke my heart. You're so pale and so very thin, darling. You look like you might die any moment."

"Maybe that's exactly what I want?" you snarked. It was the truth and the tormented expression on his face suggested he was aware of it as well. "I'm sorry for killing your child. I didn't know... I'd never have..."

You sobbed. You regretted killing the child. You didn't regret killing her.

"Our child. It was supposed to be our child," he soothed. "And I know you wouldn't."

You fell asleep in his arms, wondering if he was going to kill you despite the pretty words.

* * *

When you woken up, Armitage was gone.

There was a tray of food and a note that he'd like you to stay in today and rest.

You followed his order and laid in bed for the rest of the day without nothing to do.

The demons in your head were howling in laughter, mocking you.

You could swear they all had Kylo Ren's voice.

When Hux came back, you still looked like a shell of your former self. He hoped he'd see you looking better, but nothing changed.

Nothing changed for a very long time.

* * *

Despite that he looked after you, you still filed a divorce.

He signed it with an expression of a kicked puppy.

You, however, didn't feel bad at all. Normally, you'd cave in and kissed away that pouting, sad face.

After that was done, you felt like you could finally breathe. You didn't flirt with other men. Or with women. You were just... happy, sort of. Or in actuality, you were hurting less.

Meanwhile, your ex-husband didn't act like an ex-husband. Not at all.

He showered you with gifts and praise and compliments. Nothing too grand or dramatic.

You found yourself giving in to his courtship. Again.

Like a moth to the flame, that's what you were.

With time, he invited you to eat lunch or have a coffee together. You denied him most of the time, but sometimes you agreed.

You hated yourself for falling for his charms once more.

* * *

"I still love you," he whispered one evening.

You looked at him with a small frown. Damn him.

"You say you do. You've said so before, but that didn't stop you from having an affair." you said and Armitage flinched. "I don't want to live in paranoia you might do that again."

"I won't, I promise!" Hux said in desperation you never knew him capable of. "Please, come back to me. I can see how hollow your eyes are. I can see the grief I caused you. But please, give me another chance."

You thought for a long time. You gave him no answer.

* * *

It felt like he given up on you.

Armitage no longer brought you gifts and spoke no compliments. The invites for lunches and coffees stopped and...

And you hated how much you missed spending time with him.

One day you saw an officer flirting at him. He didn't flirt back, but he didn't tell her to stop either.

Anger and jealousy coiled in your chest and that's how you knew you still loved him.

The same day you went to his chambers and knocked on the door. You hoped she won't be there.

Armitage looked surprised you came to him. And you were relieved no one was with him.

"I missed you," you whispered, wrapping your arms around him before Hux could say anything. Hesitantly, he hugged you back as if he was afraid to give in.

"I missed you too," you heard him saying against your hair. Your heart trembled in your chest. A little brust of happiness for the first time in months.

"I want you back," you sobbed against his chest. "I don't want anyone else to have you. I love you. I want you to be mine and mine only."

"I will be only yours, I promise," he mumbled and you could hear him smiling in joy.

"If you break my heart, I'll kill you. I will fucking kill you." you sobbed. Hux just grinned and kissed your forehead.

"You'll do with me whatever you want. I don't plan on giving you a reason, though," you heard him say.

Your lips met in a kiss. It would be a long, bumpy road to get back what was once lost between the two of you. You doubted if anything could cement your relationship to how it was back in the day.

* * *

 

You were wrong, though. Seven months later you found out that against all odds, you were pregnant. A year later, your baby daughter was born and demanded so much attention you had no time to think about the past anymore.

It wasn't a constant state of bliss, but it was heaven you felt you didn't deserve. You had blood on your hands and that was the price you paid for your happiness. Remorse finally gnawed at you. She might've been a horrible person to have an affair with your husband but you took her life. And her child's life. Their blood would stain your hands forever.

To make up for your crime, you named your daughter with her name. It fixed nothing, but felt right to do so.

Armitage looked proud of you because of it. He was smiling, sometimes. He never strayed again. It shocked you that he never seemed upset with you for killing his mistress.

You realized he must've genuinely loved you to forgive you. You forgave him, too, even though it didn't mean you forgot. Despite that, you learned to trust him and didn't doubt his faithfullness.

For the first time in years, you realized you were happy, too.


End file.
